Diary+Stories

Diary of a Giraffe May 15 The Monsoon rains begin. Drink and eat to pass the time and store for dry season.

May 25 Slept 4.6 hours standing up last night. Mmm. Felt good. Must’ve been tired. Junior got invited to a pool party; we told him he had to say no. We can’t swim.

Jun 5 Busy day on the savanna, outrunning lions and humans. Disabled a lion with a swift, well-placed kick. Left the human in the dust. Junior’s getting bigger every day, growing nice bald horns for fighting. He’s the tallest in his class. No surprise there.

June 10 Big party with the neighbors last night. The wildebeests were wild, they always yuk it up. Cousins the Okapi came to visit; they’re kind of weird looking but they’re great guests. Zebras came too, fashionably late. Great salads were had by all. Good thing we all get along. Can’t wait for the next one.

June 12 Took Junior out on the savanna while the wife babysat some calves for the other females.

June 14 Junior turned 8 today. They grow so fast. He’s moving in with his girlfriends tomorrow. That’s my boy!

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Diary of Lawrence the Barn Owl



March 14, 2011 This morning, after a very long flight, Isighted a most perfect barn and decided to take up residence. This would be mynew home. When I first entered the dark loft, I heard the fluttering of pigeonwings. Ugh. Rats with wings. Instead of making a meal of the disgustingcreatures, I flapped my wings, bobbed my head and screeched right in theirsilly faces. They scattered and the barn was mine.

March 15, 2011 Tonight’s hunt was very successful. I caughta few fat rats and a juicy frog to cleanse my palate. While I was enjoying thenight air, I heard the beautiful hooting of a lovely lady owl. I immediatelysoared anddipped to find the source of the sirens song. I spotted her in thebranches of a tall oak. Instead of acknowledging me when I landed nearby, shesniffed and turned her head 270o away from me. I puffed up andpreened my feathers. I was determined to impress her. She still ignored me, soI decided to I would perform my most impressive feat. A pellet containing theleftovers from tonight’s hunt. Surelyshe would see my hunting prowess. Instead she flew away. I am not discouraged.I will scout out her habitat.

March 25, 2011 I’m in love. After many days searching, Ifound the female. She has taken over the burrow of a badger. Nice digs but Ithink she will prefer my pad in the barn. We already have plans to start afamily of owlets. We could start with as many as a dozen eggs. She is perfect.

April 15, 2011 The kids never sleep. The hooting isunnerving. This is not what I signed on for. Whoever thought owls were patientand wise were dead wrong.

To be continued...

Diary of a Bat ~Weeji and Liz

I’m so excited! I got some new posters for my rafter today! There was this buy one get one free special so I was able to get all of my favorite bat celebrities with my weekly allowance. Now, when I go to sleep, I become Batman. I fight crime with a dutiful sidekick’s help. I would never hire a robin, though. You can’t trust a robin.

I am now, officially, the best of the best. You are talking to the supreme champion bat of all champion bats. At our insect gobbling contest yesterday I gobbled up 5000 spiders and mosquitos! In just one evening! My friend Barton followed behind me with 3550 bugs. Betty’s still a vegetarian and protested our contest by eating as much nectar as she could right in front of us. Bartholomew didn’t even participate because he’s still on his “blood thing.” Yuck!

I got a letter in the mail today from my friend in China. I wish I lived in China! Bats are considered lucky in China. Not like here, where people, for some reason, think that we’re scary! We’re not scary! Owls are much, much scarier. In fact, I’m the least scary of all the bats I know. I’m good at eating bugs, I sleep a lot, and I would help Batman fight crime in a second! How can I possibly be scary?